Can you believe it? I arrived pretty early at school even if I only got 3 hours of sleep.
Anyway, just like what I just said (or typed), I only slept for 3 hours, thanks to Bubble Gang's segment called something with the word "Makingba-gay." It's the only thing that could cheer me up that time because I didn't get to watch Family Feud last Friday which I regret a lot because Paolo's there. And it's a very rare thing and I missed it because i'm too busy making a blogskin that i'm sure would never be an SOTD . So I just watched BG . and it's worth it . Aljur's so cute . Did I already mentioned in this blog before that I have a crush on him since January 2008 ? XD
okay . move on ---
Time: 4:24 pm
NP: Time for Miracles - Adam Lambert
Yes, it's playing on the radio . i fm . they're playing TFM on the radio and I'm freaking out
Title: Is flying high Date: Sunday, November 29, 2009 @ 10:09:00 PM
No . Not . I know it's just me overacting about things . But seriosuly , i really felt the world's so unfair . though so far i don't know why . well there's a reason , i just can't say it here , it's so ... personal . okay , move on ...
Reason why I think the world is unfair ?
because it is .
darn.
Title: Am I or not? Date: Tuesday, November 24, 2009 @ 7:46:00 AM
Just got home from Yo Tsob. I still can't contain myself about what I found out: Adam's AMA performance. No, of course I didn't find it gross. But I'm quite shock he did that. Though I still haven't watch that. I'm not sure too if I'm going to watch it--no, not because of the performance itself, but because I don't want to see those negative comments about his performance. It's just... it sucks. I so agree with Adam's post-performance interview (about the discrimination thing).
Anyways, I'm still not sure if I'm going to watch it. Not because of the smooch (after all, I already saw some Bradam pics and absolutely have no problems with it). Or the... erm... the R-rated thing. Okay, yeah, it's because of the r-rated thing. NO! I didn't find it gross (based on what I read), it's just... the impact it will make in my mind. I'm still a loser fourteen-year old. Yes I know I'm kind of liberal, but not that liberal. I love Adam. I do. But.. it's just.. ugh! I can't explain it!
btw, as a kradam fan, i so want to know what is kris' reaction about it
--------
I can't sleep, I think I must watch it to fully understand things..
but. ugh!
AM I OR NOT?
Adam adam...
I think I must, after all, he just did that for our entertainment. I LOVE YOU ADAM!!
but..
when and where?
I can't watch it in school. I mean, duh. it's school.
Alabang? No, what if my dad saw it? OMG! What if my MOM saw it?!?!
NOOOOOOOOOOO!! They'll not let me continue my love and support to Adam... NO!
Yo Tsob? No. peekers . And I'm guilty for being one of them.
Netopi@: just. no.
Tita Nel: DEFFO NO!! Not really safe (lol at the term)
but where?!?!
Alabang is the safest so far.
I think I will just watch it there when everyone else is asleep or not around..
But..
GOSH
am I or not?
Title: Why it’s hard to face him? Date: @ 7:45:00 AM
When you still keep your admiration towards him as a secret, you don’t have any doubts on looking at him, smiling at him, or greeting him—of course because he doesn’t know you like him not only as a friend but more than that. But now he already knows you like him, and even though it’s okay with him, why it’s hard to face him?
Number 1: Because you’re afraid he might think you’re a flirt. Yes—a flirt. Though that’s a very inappropriate thing to think, we can’t deny the fact that it sometimes crosses your mind.
Number 2: Because you’re afraid people will tease both of you. Of course it’s quite embarrassing and all, mostly on your part, since you’re the one who likes the other one.
Number 3: Because you’re afraid he might just ignore you. Okay, this one is like the least possible to happen but hey, who knows?
Number 4: Because you’re afraid he might just break your heart (again) secretly. Say, maybe he’s with his so-called “girlfriends” and yeah, jealousy.
Number 5: Last and not the least, because you’re afraid he’ll just play with you. I know that hurts but still possible.
Overall: Because you’re afraid and yes, I am afraid. Thank you.
Title: new background (just made) Date: Sunday, November 22, 2009 @ 8:26:00 PM
What if it makes you sad at me And what if it makes you laugh now but you cry as you fall asleep And what if it takes your breath and you can't hardly breathe And what if it makes the last sound be the very best sound
What if what I want makes you sad at me And is it all my fault or can I fix it please Cause you know that I'm always all for you Cause you know that I'm always all for you
What if it makes you lose faith in me, what if it makes you question every moment you cannot see And what if it makes you crash and you can't find the key What if it makes you ask how you could let it all go
What if what I want makes you sad at me And is it all my fault or can I fix it please Cause you know that I'm always all for you Cause you know that I'm always all for you
And if this be our last conversation If this be the last time that we speak for a while Don't lose hope and don't let go Cause you should know
If it makes you sad If it makes you sad at me Then it's all my fault and let me fix it please Cause you know that I'm always all for you Cause you know that I'm always all for you
What if what I want makes you sad at me And if it's all my fault then let me fix it please Cause you know that I'm always all for you Cause you know that I'm always all for you
You know what? I just found out that I can somehow relate, not only SOMEHOW but TOTALLY can relate...
Title: I just don't know what to do Date: @ 2:14:00 AM
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE SONGS THAT WILL BE MENTIONED IN THIS POST.
// and sorry about my english
If ever I have the chance of making my life's soundtrack, i'll definitely choose the following to be included (and some lines from the song I totally love and can somehow relate to -- the bolded lines):
1.) WALKING DISASTER - SUM 41
I haven't been home for a while I'm sure everything's the same Mom and Dad both in denial An only child to take the blame
Sorry, Mom, but I don't miss you Father's no name you deserve I'm just a kid with no ambitions Wouldn't come home for the world...
...And now I've been gone for so long I can't remember who was wrong All innocence is long gone I pledge allegiance to a world of disbelief Where I belong
A walking disaster The son of all bastards You regret you made me It's too late to save me (You regret you made me It's too late to save me)
As far as I can tell It's just voices in my head Am I talking to myself? 'Cause I don't know what I just said...
...I will be home in a while You don't have to say a word I can't wait to see you smile Wouldn't miss it for the world
2.) I'M JUST A KID - SIMPLE PLAN
...I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is Having more fun than me Tonight...
And maybe when the night is dead, I'll crawl into my bed Staring at these 4 walls again I'll try to think about the last time, I had a good time Everyone's got somewhere to go And they're gonna leave me here on my own and here it goes...
3.) LONER IN LOVE - BUSTED
I wake up scared to phone her Realise I'm a loner in love (yeah yeah) It's still the same old story Tears of morning glory no luck That's the reason why my life sucks, very much Being a loner in love
4.) YOU BELONG WITH ME - TAYLOR SWIFT
...But she wears short skirts I wear t-shirts She's cheer captain And I'm on the bleachers Dreaming about the day When you wake up and find That what you're looking for Has been here the whole time
If you could see That I'm the one Who understands you Been here all along So why can't you See you belong with me You belong with me...
...She wears high heels I wear sneakers She's cheer captain I'm on the bleachers...
5.) OBVIOUSLY - MCFLY
Recently I've been, Hopelessly reaching Out for this girl, Who's out of this world. Believe me...
But so many nights now I find myself thinking about her now.
'Cause obviously, She's out of my league But how can I win She keeps draggin' me in and I know I never will be good enough for her.
No, no Never will be good enough for her...
...'Cause obviously, She's out of my league, I'm wastin' my time 'Cause she'll never be mine I know i never will be good enough for her. No, no Never will be good enough for her...
6.) TWO IS BETTER THAN ONE - BOYS LIKE GIRLS FEAT. TAYLOR SWIFT
I remember what you wore on the first day You came into my life and I thought "Hey, you know, this could be something" 'Cause everything you do and words you say You know that it all takes my breath away And now I'm left with nothing...
..I remember every look upon your face The way you roll your eyes The way you taste You make it hard for breathing 'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away I think of you and everything's okay I'm finally now believing...
...Maybe it's true That I can't live without you Maybe two is better than one There's so much time To figure out the rest of my life And you thought that it got me coming undone And I'm thinking I can't live without you 'Cause, baby, two is better than one There's so much time To figure out the rest of my life But I'll figure it out When it's all said and done Two is better than one Two is better than one
7.) MY ANGEL - KELLIE PICKLER
Every day when school got out I'd get off the bus and I'd run down That old dirt road where you were waiting for me On the front porch in that blue swing You'd be smiling and we would sing 'Amazing Grace' and 'Jesus Loves Me'
You were like my mother You were my best friend You were everything I want to be And all the good inside of me There's never been Never been another That loved me like you did My grandmother, my angel...
Will think of more some other day.. I'm just doing something I really found funny to do. XD After all...
Sheez. I completely messed up my High School Life. I already thought I would possibly end it smoothly but because of my stupid self, I messed it. I COMPLETELY MESSED UP AND SHEEZ!!!! UGH!!!
Look, I already accepted the fact that Harvy's in the History now of PUPLHS (thanks to his masterpiece---yes! I just called it a MASTERPIECE!!! Isn't it?). I already accepted the fact that we lost to 4-Entre in the IT Quiz Bee (quite). I already accepted the fact that I wasted two years (make it three) on admiring someone who is never going to admire me back. I already accepted the fact that I'm not really smart and I'm never going to be in the top 10 or even get a merit. I already accepted the fact that most of my favorite slash pairings are never going to end up with each other (no, except Kradam here. I so want them--!). But... I can't--!
Look, gusto ko lang talagang sabihin na sa iyo. Kasi pag tumagal pa baka matulad lang sa blah blah blah. So, ayun, straight na ako: blah blah blah. I know I must say it earlier para hndi na lalong lumala. But damn. Ewan ko. Alam mo naman ako? Coward. shy dn. (weh) pero, oo. ewan! basta. grr. Natatakot lang kasi ako sa rejection and pain. Gah! Bakit ko ba toh sinasabi? Erm, ok, un nga, para mabawasan na ung . erm. bigat sa puso. hehe. ano raw? d. joke lang. ewan!
basta para mabawasan na problema ko sa buhay!
BYE!
That's just one of the lamest and stupidest message I will ever send, if I will send it.
Title: my Kradam Fanfic: COMMENTARY (standalone) Date: @ 7:00:00 PM
New template again! XD // Oh, you might wanna know:
visited my blog this year. not sure what month, but this year, 2009. bolditalicunderlinestrikethroughlink
profile
I am Nicole Aika. AKA decayedFairytale (on some sites) and APA--girl (in.. well, in School). Used to be a loser kid, now I'm a loser teenager it makes sense!. A Filipina. Graduating student (High School).
A very pessimist person. Shy to strangers. Coward. Imaginative. Moody. Unpredictable sometimes. Short tempered. Not Independent.
Sarcastic. Frank. Unsure on decisions. Weird. Selfish sometimes. Hate my hair. Crazy. Obsessed. Likes: Chocolate. McFLY. Busted.
Internet. Drawing. Art. Music. Sum 41. Cone McCaslin & Deryck Whibley. Beautiful Guys--literally (like Paolo ♥). People who can understand me. Blogskin. Photoshop.
American Idol. Adam Lambert. KRADAM. Slash pairings like PONES of McFLY, JAYBOURNE of Busted, and NANBA-NAKAO of Hana Kimi Japan.
Comedy + Romance Fictions. Fried Chicken. French Fries. Mashed Potatos. Burger Steak. Jollibee. Gravy. Rockers. Scissor Sisters. Sweets. Cute stuffs.
Princess Diaries Book (And the first movie because Michael is so cute!). All colors, depends on mood. Summer. Sun. Peace. Fun. Technology.
Loving and Hanging out with my family + friends. Thinking. Imagining. Daydreaming. Dislikes: Cheesy. Boring. Overrated. Channel 2.
Twilight Saga. Artists who don't have a child friendly songs. HATERS OF MY LIKES. Milk. Avocado. Atis. Kakanin. Gata. Buko. Salad. Wasabi. Ripe mango.
Flirty and Entertaining people. Homophobics (mostly those who hate GAYS). Killjoys. Horror movies. High School Musical. JB fans who claimed that
JB's version of Year 3000 & What I go to school for are way better than Busted's. Insensitive. Overacting emos. Rainy. Storms. Thunder. Lightning.
Fire. Accidents. Things that can make me traumatize. Tag.Foul words. KSP. Fights without a proper reason. Corrupts. Irresponsible leaders. Martyrs. Feelers.
Flying cockroach. Doing nothing. Those who tease me even they already know I'm not in my best mood. and more people I don't want to tell who.
1.) Another memorable Christmas 2.) Play Singstar (especially Singstar PARTY) again (80s and 90s are blast!! cool Singstars) 3.) Very first Skin of the day in Blogskins (after a year, I still don’t have one, bummer) (yes! MY FIRST SOTD)
4.) All of Sum 41’s album (asked Mom about this)
5.) Kradison’s albums (AHH!!! Getting near!!) 6.) New cellphone (how about an iPhone? I would be happy) (not really an iPhone: iPod TOUCH!!!) 7.) New McFLY’s album (i already have the radio:Active live in Wembley DVD!!!!)
8.) Clean laptop (hehe)
